This one is for the Bishops

Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:14

eleven weeks pregnant

June 13, 2012

I am eleven weeks pregnant today.  I have my first doctors appointment a week from tomorrow.  We saw an ultrasound at six weeks because we had two previous miscarriages and wanted some indication of how things were going to go.  We did see a heartbeat (hooray!) but also know that this doesn't mean there are any guarantees.  That is one of the biggest lessons you learn after having a few, or even just one miscarriage.  If we hear a heart beat at the doctor appointment next week then we will start sharing the news.  That would make me very happy. 

The babies due date will be January 2, 2013.  I will be 43 when the baby is born.  Andy will be 47.  Hmmm... who knows what God has planned.

Our Garden Plot

We've been gardening. There is a community garden about five miles away from where we live and we got a plot. It has been fun working with Gabe and seeing him try to make it all work out whether it is working to try and get the clumps out of the soil or answering my questions about what he thinks we should do about this and that since we are novice gardeners and trying to figure tings out. He hasn't shown an interest in gardening for a few years but now he seems to be enjoying it.


Gabe, the two little ones and myself have been driving out the "the garden" and it is fun to see the little ones want to imitate us big ones. Hoes and rakes for kids are sold at the hardware store and I think that I should have bought them (maybe Istill will) because the little kids really want to help and there is plenty of space for them to muck around on the part of the garden that hasn't been planted yet. The dirt is very clumpy it would truly be helpful for the to hack away at the clumps with us.

Anyway, it seems we were taking a break from our formal homeschooling and working in our garden has provided us with a place to get out of the house (and for Gabe to come up from the basement) and do some hands on learning. It's good for us.

Ten Rules to Being Happy Parents

I found this here.

Here are some excellent points from a book called Christ in the Home by Father Raoul Plus, S.J., copyright 1951:


1. Always appear before your family in good humor.
Nothing is so depressing as a father or mother out of
sorts. See that the family never has to suffer because of
your nervousness or irritability.

2.Never weary in cheering your family with your smile. It
is not enough to avoid depressing them; you must
brighten them up and let their spirits expand. Be especially
vigilant when the little ones are around. Give them
the alms of a smile, hard though it be at times. What a pity
when children have to say, “I don’t like it at home.”

3.What can be shared, speak of it openly. If something
must not be told, then don’t tell it. Do share what
you can so everyone profits by your experience, especially
the family.

4.Amiably show the greatest interest in the smallest
things. Family problems are generally not affairs of
state, but everything that concerns those we love most
in this world should be worthy of interest: the baby’s
first tooth, the honor ribbon won at school, the entrance
of one of the little ones into the Holy Childhood
Association.

5.Banish exaggerated asceticism from your life. If your
home is Christian and each member of the family is
learning to carry his cross, then it is essential to avoid
making others suffer by a too ostentatious or inopportune
austerity. There is abundant opportunity for self renunciation
in devoting oneself to procuring joy for others.
Marie Antoinette de Geuser used to sacrifice her great longing
for recollection and her taste for a simple life by accompanying
her brothers to evening affairs for which she
wore dresses that she said “made her look vain.”

6. Be sure to treat all alike. Nothing is so disrupting to
home life as favoritism for one or the other child.
The same measure for all!

7. Never think of yourself, but always of them in a joyous
spirit. Henry the Fourth of France used to crawl
around on all fours, with his children on his back, to
enliven the family get-together. Louis Racine, son of the
famous French playwright, author of “Athalie,” relates,
“My father was never so happy as when he was free to
leave the royal court and spend a few days with us. Even
in the presence of strangers, he dared to be a father; he
belonged to all our games.”

8. Never begin an argument; always speak prudently.
Discussion should not be banned unless it develops
into bickering. A free habit of exchanging ideas on a
broadening subject cannot but be profitable; the children
should even be encouraged and led into it to develop
in them a wise and discriminating mind and a
habit of suspended judgment. Unsavory and disturbing
subjects and those beyond their depth naturally
ought to be avoided.

9. Always act patiently and answer graciously. That it
takes the “patience of an angel” to rule vigilantly
over the little world of the family is beyond question.
Affability is essential.

10. By good will you will gain hearts and souls without
exception. Loving much is the key to gain all.
These slogans for a happy home life are not marvels
of prose, but do express a precious rule of wise
family discipline.

Adapted from Father Raoul Plus, S.J.’s Christ in the Home
(Colorado Springs, CO: Gardner Brothers, 1951), 241–
243. Christ in the Home is a treasure chest of advice for
Catholics on the practical and spiritual concerns of raising
a family.

Real Love

I was struck by the reading for the Evening Office tonight. It was Romans 5:6-10.  To quote part of it: "It is rare that anyone should lay down his life for a just man, though it is barely possible that for a good man someone may have the courage to die.  It is precisely in this that God proves his love for us: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


This is what marriage--what being a Christian-- is supposed to be about.  We are supposed to give ourselves completely to our spouse, to love them, even when they aren't or we feel they aren't loving us with the love we would like.  It says right there that this is how God proved his love for us: by dying for us when we were still sinners; not nice people; not loving and kind people; and most definately not people who returned his love--sinners.

Jesus gives us the ultimate example of love--to give and not expect or want something back in return. Jesus allowed offered himself to die the violent death of a criminal for people who hated him; for people who would never love him. This is mind boggling to someone who can easily retreat  into  interior hurt with the slightest offense.  This means that real love takes a lot of strength and, it goes without saying, a lot of grace.

This means not returning wrong for wrong, or insult for insult; or turning inward to nurse your emotional wounds.  This means being insulted, ignored, feeling unloved and still offering yourself--giving.  It has been said that this is the best way to deal with hurt from another person.  Do something for the person who has hurt you or for someone else so you don't get bogged down in your own troubles and you can be healed.

Mother Theresa comes to mind.  She experienced a dark night of the soul for something like 50 years and, if I am correct, no one but her spiritual director was aware of her inner anguish.  Although she was suffering, she continued her work of helping others and brought Christ to them.  Again, mind boggling, completely self-giving real love.  Wow!

An act of love, an act of will.

Learning to Love Others Over Yourself

"Those who love themselves with a love that seeks themselves and the world--that seeks creatures more than God--are never satisfied--never quiet.  They are always uneasy, always tormented, always upset." Cure d'Ars

This quote reminds me of myself.  This is not because I am always seeking worldy possessions like lots of money and shiny new stuff; but because I want things my own way and I get upset when they aren't.  This is especially true in my relationship with my husband.  I find myself very often looking at what my husband should be doing for me to meet my needs.

But what if I changed my default way of thinking to think more of my husbands needs than my own?
Do you suppose I could be happier if I thought more about someone else than myself?   Am I afraid that if I stop thinking about my own needs more than my husband's that I won't get my needs met?  Yes I guess so.  But maybe the things that I think I so desperately need: that my husband talk with me about deep feelings, ask me out on dates, notice every time I clean the bathroom sink, or whatever aren't really what I need.  Do you suppose that if I start thinking about my husbands needs "most of the time" that God will take care of my needs?  Maybe I shoud stop worrying that my husband isn't meeting my needs and be filled with confidence that Jesus will take care of needs that I didn't even think that I had.  Then perhaps I would stop seeking myself and what I think will make me happy and I would be seeking God.  Maybe then I would stop feeling so "unsatisfied, tormented, uneasy, and upset."

  And yet if I did change to a new other focused way of thinking I would still only be doing what I was supposed to be doing.  "...when  you have done all that you were commanded, say 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty'"-Luke 17:10

A Shy Person's Prayer

I really wish that I were the kind of person that could walk up and have a friendly conversation with anybody.  I'm not.  Although I do have an introverted personality,  I love connecting and talking with people and when the conditions are right I do. 

For example, I would love to talk to my neighbor who is also a musician, and a well known one around town at that. I dream of striking up a conversation about how I used to play in a band with someone who is in his band and how he would find out about how I played bass and then he would want to get together and jam or maybe he would let me sit in with him on a number or two at a gig. But at best I give him a little wave from across the yard.  

Is this something I should offer up and take as just being the way things are or should I be less passive and take more chances?  Is it right for me to ask God to give me the strenght to be more social with people or do I need to take a step in that direction first using sheer will to make the first move?  I know the real answer is to step out in faith and God will provide everything else needed to do his will.  I could really use a swift kick in the rear from the Holy Spirit.
Dear Lord, help me to reach out in love to my neighbor.  Give me words and courage.  Heal me from hurts incurred from others when I have tried reaching out in the past so that I may be able to speak with confidence and joy.  Sometimes I feel trapped in my own fear of certain people and situations.  Help me to overcome this so that I may experience peace in the joy of communion with my fellow man.