Learning to Love Others Over Yourself

"Those who love themselves with a love that seeks themselves and the world--that seeks creatures more than God--are never satisfied--never quiet.  They are always uneasy, always tormented, always upset." Cure d'Ars

This quote reminds me of myself.  This is not because I am always seeking worldy possessions like lots of money and shiny new stuff; but because I want things my own way and I get upset when they aren't.  This is especially true in my relationship with my husband.  I find myself very often looking at what my husband should be doing for me to meet my needs.

But what if I changed my default way of thinking to think more of my husbands needs than my own?
Do you suppose I could be happier if I thought more about someone else than myself?   Am I afraid that if I stop thinking about my own needs more than my husband's that I won't get my needs met?  Yes I guess so.  But maybe the things that I think I so desperately need: that my husband talk with me about deep feelings, ask me out on dates, notice every time I clean the bathroom sink, or whatever aren't really what I need.  Do you suppose that if I start thinking about my husbands needs "most of the time" that God will take care of my needs?  Maybe I shoud stop worrying that my husband isn't meeting my needs and be filled with confidence that Jesus will take care of needs that I didn't even think that I had.  Then perhaps I would stop seeking myself and what I think will make me happy and I would be seeking God.  Maybe then I would stop feeling so "unsatisfied, tormented, uneasy, and upset."

  And yet if I did change to a new other focused way of thinking I would still only be doing what I was supposed to be doing.  "...when  you have done all that you were commanded, say 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty'"-Luke 17:10

A Shy Person's Prayer

I really wish that I were the kind of person that could walk up and have a friendly conversation with anybody.  I'm not.  Although I do have an introverted personality,  I love connecting and talking with people and when the conditions are right I do. 

For example, I would love to talk to my neighbor who is also a musician, and a well known one around town at that. I dream of striking up a conversation about how I used to play in a band with someone who is in his band and how he would find out about how I played bass and then he would want to get together and jam or maybe he would let me sit in with him on a number or two at a gig. But at best I give him a little wave from across the yard.  

Is this something I should offer up and take as just being the way things are or should I be less passive and take more chances?  Is it right for me to ask God to give me the strenght to be more social with people or do I need to take a step in that direction first using sheer will to make the first move?  I know the real answer is to step out in faith and God will provide everything else needed to do his will.  I could really use a swift kick in the rear from the Holy Spirit.
Dear Lord, help me to reach out in love to my neighbor.  Give me words and courage.  Heal me from hurts incurred from others when I have tried reaching out in the past so that I may be able to speak with confidence and joy.  Sometimes I feel trapped in my own fear of certain people and situations.  Help me to overcome this so that I may experience peace in the joy of communion with my fellow man.