Real Love

I was struck by the reading for the Evening Office tonight. It was Romans 5:6-10.  To quote part of it: "It is rare that anyone should lay down his life for a just man, though it is barely possible that for a good man someone may have the courage to die.  It is precisely in this that God proves his love for us: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


This is what marriage--what being a Christian-- is supposed to be about.  We are supposed to give ourselves completely to our spouse, to love them, even when they aren't or we feel they aren't loving us with the love we would like.  It says right there that this is how God proved his love for us: by dying for us when we were still sinners; not nice people; not loving and kind people; and most definately not people who returned his love--sinners.

Jesus gives us the ultimate example of love--to give and not expect or want something back in return. Jesus allowed offered himself to die the violent death of a criminal for people who hated him; for people who would never love him. This is mind boggling to someone who can easily retreat  into  interior hurt with the slightest offense.  This means that real love takes a lot of strength and, it goes without saying, a lot of grace.

This means not returning wrong for wrong, or insult for insult; or turning inward to nurse your emotional wounds.  This means being insulted, ignored, feeling unloved and still offering yourself--giving.  It has been said that this is the best way to deal with hurt from another person.  Do something for the person who has hurt you or for someone else so you don't get bogged down in your own troubles and you can be healed.

Mother Theresa comes to mind.  She experienced a dark night of the soul for something like 50 years and, if I am correct, no one but her spiritual director was aware of her inner anguish.  Although she was suffering, she continued her work of helping others and brought Christ to them.  Again, mind boggling, completely self-giving real love.  Wow!

An act of love, an act of will.

Thoughts on Mother Theresa and Marriage

I read somewhere that when Mother Theresa was a child and her father came home, her mother would always drop whatever she was doing and immediately go to greet her husband with a smile. 

I've also heard that Mother Theresa told her sisters to not let it be said that a married woman loved her spouse more than they loved Jesus their spouse.

These two things seem to be related to one of the things that Mother Theresa is fond of talking about:  smiling at God--even when you don't feel like it.

There are a few things that come to my mind:

1) Isn't it amazing how much we can learn from a celebate nun about how to love our husbands?

2) That how much we love our husbands is directly related to how much we love God; and how much we love God is related to how much we love our husbands.

3) How much of an influence M. Theresa's parents love for each other must have had on teaching her about how to love God and others.

4) It is important for me to love my husband in such a way that my children understand what it is to love and be loved.  This means smiling at my husband--even when I don't feel like it.  This is how to set an example of holiness.

Mother Theresa, pray that those of us living the vocation of marriage learn how to love truly and deeply.